How to make school holidays fun for Mums!

And here come the School holidays again! I should feel excited about spending time with my kids, getting out of routine, having family holidays and enjoying the festive spirit but those feelings are mixed with feelings of exhaustion, anxiety and dread! What about ME??? Does anyone else feel that the Summer holidays and festivities leave …

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What gives the media the right to judge Mums?

It's time to have a little rant, grab a cuppa and join me as I think you're all feeling it right now too! Could someone please tell the media to stop judging Mums!!!! I don't care how they are being judged, in what context, from what survey results or in this country they do this …

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Taking a chance on me!

Do ever have times in your life as a Mum when you know you need to take that next step? Push yourself outside your boundaries or do something different? I've been cruising along with the business this year in the time I have for it, doing interesting activities and networking on a small scale to …

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Did your to do list include the word “Mothering” today?

My Husband asked me how my day was the other day and I said "Oh I didn't get a lot done as H was grumpy and needed lots of TLC". "Cool" he said. Later that evening I sat down when the house was quiet and reflected on the short conversation and became really angry with …

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Why do Mums feel guilty about spending on ourselves?

I know the arguments, I use them on myself! My kids are the future, their needs come first, they need to look nice, have nice things and do nice activities BUT what if Mum isn't content with her sense of self, her personal lifestyle or is always feeling guilty for working to provide the kids with …

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How to make school holidays fun for Mums! What gives the media the right to judge Mums? Taking a chance on me! Did your to do list include the word “Mothering” today? Why do Mums feel guilty about spending on ourselves?

Nov
29

How to make school holidays fun for Mums!

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And here come the School holidays again! I should feel excited about spending time with my kids, getting out of routine, having family holidays and enjoying the festive spirit but those feelings are mixed with feelings of exhaustion, anxiety and dread! What about ME??? Does anyone else feel that the Summer holidays and festivities leave them feeling drained and wishing away January until the new school year starts again?

 

Being Mums, we tend to put ourselves last on the present list, time list and feeling good about ourselves list so my little message to you this Summer holidays is, Happy Mummy = Happy kids = Happy family! So how do you make yourself happy amidst all the activities, family and chaos surrounding holiday time? Here are a few little tips and tricks to try!

  • Mumpreneurs- Schedule minimal work time into the chaos (change your working hours to evenings if you have to, focus on the priorities of your business, inform your clients of your holiday schedule and that you’ll only be attending to urgent requests)
    • Communicate your needs to those around you clearly (let the family, colleagues and friends know your needs; be it for personal time, work time or play time)
    • Make sure you use the additional family support that public holidays bring to run away and read a book, take some sanity time out!
    • Keep the kids busy but not always running them from one activity to another, use good old fashioned activities at home to keep them busy creating their own mayhem whilst you have a cup of tea!
    • Remember that this is a special time of life, being a Mum with kids who still want to hang out with you, and that’s why you’ve chosen to be a Mum!
    • Go on holiday with other families if you can, you only need 1 adult to supervise kids, the others can chill out and you can all get a break at some point
    • Relaxing the kids routine means you can relax yours too, try and enjoy the freedom that school holidays bring, use it for creative thinking time for your business/self, instead of the daily grind time

    Now, I just have to take my own advice and I hope we can all enjoy the Summer Break with our families and use it to foster the most important relationships in our lives, those with our families!

    About Me

    I am a Mum of 2 boys and the Director and Lead Coach at The Edge Coaching. I specialise in empowering Mums to create a lifestyle that works FOR THEM, not just works! I also love helping Mums find themselves again after becoming a Mum. I also run workshops through my “Buidling Working Parent Resilience” Programme for Organisations committed to supporting their Working Mums in pursuing their personal and professional goals! For more information please check out my website http://www.theedgecoaching.org and my blog http://theedge4mums.com for my insights into the wonderful but crazy world of Motherhood!

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    Nov
    08

    What gives the media the right to judge Mums?

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    It's time to have a little rant, grab a cuppa and join me as I think you're all feeling it right now too! Could someone please tell the media to stop judging Mums!!!! I don't care how they are being judged, in what context, from what survey results or in this country they do this and in that country they do that, it all just needs to stop.


    I've been reading a lot of articles in mainstream newspapers, online and listening to radio shows and there is a constant theme at the moment focused on Mums and the job they do. Be it, stay at home Mums, working Mums, old Mums, young Mums, how celebrity Mums manage their roles as Mums…we are inundated with the media judging and casting aspersions on our natural, critical and vulnerable role as Mothers to our little Human Beings.

    If being a Mum is a job / career / purpose in life then shouldn't there be more detail surrounding how well other careers are being progressed. What about how our bakers bake bread or our butchers cut their meat? If we think of it in this context imagine the level of scrutiny that these professions and many others would be scrutinised to. Is the best baker the one who puts in the most hours or is it the one who delegates pouring the flour into the mixer so they can arrive at work 1 hour later than the other staff….who knows?

    All I'm saying is that enough is enough. As Mums we are given the privilege and honour of mothering our young until they are about 18 years old and usually until we die. How we do that, as long as it's not breaking the law and causing harm to our offspring is our immediate family's business. I know people want to learn from others and I'm fine with that but I don't think that constantly writing articles in national newspapers judging Mums for their choices one way or another is going to help any Mums out there to feel more confident in the wonderful but hard job that they perform 24 x 7 as a Mum!

    Am I being controversial? Perhaps but I'm by no means saying that no information for Mums is the way forward. I'm just saying, lay off, give Mums the chance to be the best Mum they can be in their own unique and special way that makes them an individual.

    Please leave your thoughts as I'm keen to know if other Mums feel this way towards the media right now or if I've jumped on my high (hobby) horse prematurely….

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    Oct
    14

    Taking a chance on me!

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    Do ever have times in your life as a Mum when you know you need to take that next step? Push yourself outside your boundaries or do something different? I've been cruising along with the business this year in the time I have for it, doing interesting activities and networking on a small scale to grow the business but something happened about 2 months ago and I decided to throw myself out there! Took the, if you don't try, you don't get attitude! It seemed to co-incide with getting almost enough sleep again and being able to take the emotional hits / rejections that being a Mumpreneur can bring!

    I've since pondered that relationship a lot and upon talking to many Mums I think there really is a correlation. We can all push ourselves from time to time as Mums and as business owners but when we truly want to take a bit step forward we have to be prepared to take any negativity that might come out of that big step. Having enough sleep and being able to function above and beyond your day to day level seems to be critical to that!

    I'm not offering any advice here, purely making an observation and asking you to remember that as Mums we have sooooo much going on in our worlds that sometimes taking a big step forward is not conducive to our lifestyles. But when you're ready and you have all the cards lined up, taking that step forward it can be an amazing experience that proves that you're on the right track and taking chances is a great thing! Even any negatives that come out of it only go to prove that you're strong enough to take them, they make you stronger and show you the right direction to go in!

    Perhaps this is a bit deep or not deep enough but it's something I've wanted to share for a few weeks now, I just haven't had the words to explain it all.

    Please let me know how you feel about taking a chance on yourself and if the positives outweigh the negatives.

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    Sep
    06

    Did your to do list include the word “Mothering” today?

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    My Husband asked me how my day was the other day and I said "Oh I didn't get a lot done as H was grumpy and needed lots of TLC". "Cool" he said. Later that evening I sat down when the house was quiet and reflected on the short conversation and became really angry with myself. For some reason I didn't rate "Mothering" highly enough on my to do list to feel like my day was really worthwhile. What I'd actually achieved was nursing a tiny human being through one of his rough days and if I'd managed to make him smile a few times, got food down his throat and given him comfort then actually I had successfully completed THE most important task on my To Do list and if fact as my role as a Parent!

    In our busy busy lives as Mums and Working Mums how often do we actually consider the role of "Mothering" on our list of jobs to do for the day? Until then, it had been a task that I thought I fulfilled as part of my unwritten to do list but now I'm consciously taking "time out" each day to have fun and parent each of (as I write this I've just had a lego truck driven over my head and shoulders) :P

    my kids so that I get a little bit of quality time with each of them inbetween the rush, rush, rush of our oh so busy lives! Our guilt from not keeping the household clean enough, making good enough meals and having successful careers can sometimes get in the way of our most important role, being a caregiver, comforter and Mum! 

    As Spring approaches I'll be taking more time to "smell the parenting roses" whilst I walk and play with the kids outside and inside!

    So are you going to add "Mothering" to your to do list for this week??? What will it include for you??? Add a comment and let me know.

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    Aug
    21

    Why do Mums feel guilty about spending on ourselves?

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    I know the arguments, I use them on myself! My kids are the future, their needs come first, they need to look nice, have nice things and do nice activities BUT what if Mum isn't content with her sense of self, her personal lifestyle or is always feeling guilty for working to provide the kids with niceties but is not there enough time to hang out??? Eventually the kids go to school or grow up, don't need all these things and Mum is left wondering what she's done for herself for the last X number of years and why she never planned a bit better for this day?

    Do our kids really need all the niceties, can't they have some or most of them which then allows us to plan for our "rainy day" when we want to take control of where our lives are and make some conscious changes or tweaks to put us on a longer term path? I think my kids would value having a happy Mum who showed she valued herself by taking some time out to recharge (which i did recently) and rethink life to create the lifestyle that really works for her and her family. It's a question I ask myself sometimes when I hear myself saying no, I can't afford that pilates lesson or professional development course (for time or monetary reasons). Now sometimes I win and spend the money and sometimes I feel that I'll wait until the next opportunity presents itself but at least I'm conducting the thought process.

    Taking real time out for ourselves to think about what we really want rather than just putting up with what comes our way can really help empower us to take remember who we are and what  lifestyle we choose. My question to you is, next time the opportunity to take time out or spend money on yourself comes up, think twice before deciding that you don't deserve it, can't really afford it or can't find the time for it.

    If it was for your kids, you know you'd do it. We all bend over backwards to give our kids as much as our individual situations allow us but sometimes we need to consider that a Happy Mum = Happy Kids too!

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    Aug
    04

    I’ve just realised I’m a seasonal Mum. Are you?

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    For those of you who haven't seen it on social media sites, the last few days in Australia have been a mid-Winter Summer! Seriously, we've had gorgeous warm days, hanging out outside again when it's meant to be cold, dark and rainy!

    Wintery Sunset

    I was talking to another Mum about routine and how different it is between the seasons. It got me thinking about my differing parenting styles between Summer and Winter and all else inbetween!

    I had the most amazing day with my kids yesterday, we went down to the local beach, rode bikes, scooted, had a picnic, wrestled, ran after balls even played in the sand and ate ice cream. All on a day in the middle of August when I otherwise would've been trying to entertain them inside or close to the house in case it poured down!

    Now I have lived in the UK and I'm not afraid to be outside in freezing, wet conditions so don't get me wrong BUT isn't there something wonderful about being able to play outside with the sun shining down on us. We all had a great time, even the kids were happier, more polite and more energised! Was this because my parenting style was more laid back? Was I happier due to the sun on my shoulder? It doesn't feel like a coincidence. 

    Sunny Mummy - more relaxed, easy going, smiley, happy, fun, chilled, running, playing, doing more adventurous activities at 4pm at night!

    Gloomy Mummy - rigid, ordered, routine, bit of fun, uses TV more to entertain kids in bewitching hours (should I admit that?)

    I have realised that I parent differently depending on the seasons. I'm sure this does make perfect sense but it's been quite a revelation to me and is now something I'm going to work on as we head into another month of darkish evenings, some cold, wet days before the sun graces us more regularly again!  

    There is something about 4.30pm on a dark, Wintery evening that says, "Right, baton down the hatches, we're into routine time". Last night though, same time of day, warmth in the air, cooking a BBQ, playing in the garden, knocking back some dinner and having fun together!

    So, my commitment to myself and my kids from today onward is to bring FUN back into the Winter evening routine. I'm sure some of the old routine will still remain but I want to add more FUN, LIFE to the Bewitching Hours timeslot like we do in Summertime!

    Are you a Seasonal Mum? If not, what do you do to keep the Summer fun going all year around in your house?

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    Jul
    19

    Are family holidays an oxymoron?

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    Welcome back to reality I say as I sit here in silence having time to write on my blog again. Hang on, I've just had a relaxing, time indulgent holiday seeing family and friends, hanging out on the beach, enjoying the English weather and countryside. Why am I soooo exhausted, sick and tired?

    Oh, yes I've just been on HOLIDAY….with my children! Now, don't get me wrong, I did love my holiday and enjoyed spending time with my kids and loved ones BUT the word holiday now has a totally different meaning to what it did 5 years ago!

    Travelator-tastic at the airport

    I used to think holidays were about seeing new places, taking time out for myself, relaxing, catching up on sleep, forgetting about the daily grind and taking time to enjoy the finer things in life!

    Now holidays are the same daily grind in a different setting, often harder work than my home reality as they kids are with you 24 x 7, out of their comfort zone, in this case jetlagged and generally wanting A LOT OF ATTENTION from ME!

    So what did I learn from my 3 week holiday with my family on the other side of the world?

    The Good

    • Taking time out from work allowed me time to read books and relax my brain
    • You can have very memorable moments with kids on holidays (even when they were sick in bed asleep next to you)
    • You get to see the enormous developmental changes in them from spending 24 x7 for 3 weeks
    • You appreciate how routine and time alone with your partner is a blessing and to be valued
    • You appreciate yourself and all that you do on a daily basis!

    The Bad

    • Working yourself into the ground prior to a holiday is NOT SMART anymore, you don't get time to recover on holiday these days
    • Expecting to have quality time with your spouse/partner is unrealistic, ensure a date night together once you return from holidays
    • Sleep is crucial to a young child's ability to stay upbeat and without it there are many tantrums
    • Getting sick on holiday sux and from now on I'll respect myself as a person and value my health more

    The Ugly

    • Severe long lasting colds are bad enough on holiday but throw in Gastro on top and you're a pretty miserable holiday Mummy

    Moral of the story: I will still take my children on holiday and I will still enjoy the experience. What I will remember is that holidays are not about ME, they are about FAMILY TIME and if I can get a bit of me time as well I'll be happy. I'll also be strong enough to walk away from the daily grind more often and schedule trippets where I don't take anyone under 18 with me!!!!

    What's your worst family holiday story?

    This wasn't my worst family holiday by the way, ask me about my trip to a Majorcan hospital at 2am another time!!!

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    Jun
    09

    How to apply your new Mum skills back into the workforce

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    Just because you’ve taken time out of the workforce to be a Mum doesn’t mean you’ve been deskilled. Quite the opposite in face. I would like to remind you of some of the skills you’ve gained from being a Mum that will be priceless in the workforce.

     

    The Mum / Work place Skill Matrix

    Skill

    Mum

    Workplace

    Multi-tasking

    It’s always talked about but it’s TRUE, Mums are great Multi taskers. The amount of activities that we need to accomplish in a single day is amazing, let alone at the same time.

    In the workplace, you will always need to be able to do multiple tasks within a time frame. Emails, talking to clients, reading, listening all require your attention in different measures and this is a skill you’ve gained from Motherhood.

    Patience

    Even on a bad day, a Mum has to have bundles of patience. Patience to listen, to deal with unforeseen events and to put herself lower on the list than she’d like to be.

    Patience in the workplace is just as important. Your ability to listen or methodically work through a complicated task is heightened by being a Mum.

    Prioritising

    How many times a day do you have to prioritise and re-prioritise the tasks that need completing being days end? It’s endless and probably not even a skills you realised you use, but you do.

    We all have to prioritise our tasks in the workplace, whether a deadline or a client/manager’s request you will use your innate skills from Motherhood to help assess what’s most important to fulfil in your workplace on any given day.

    Time Management

    Like prioritising, time management is often done without conscious knowledge. There are times though when we need to rearrange life to give us more time for something or understand how to best use our time.

    Having the skills to assess your time and how to best use it in your days at work is critical to being an efficient Working Mum.

    Flexibility

    (going with the flow)

    How many times a day do your plans need to adjust slightly to accommodate the little people you’re with? Our ability to just cope, change tack and go with it is amazing.

    Your workplace will be a constantly changing environment too where you will need to accept change and move forward.  If you’re part time you may find changes have occurred on your days off which may have previously been frustrating but now is just life! Being a Mum will definitely have enhanced your coping mechanisms for change.

    Problem Solving

    What to cook for dinner that everyone will eat? How to get everyone organised to be out the door by 8am?

    By answering these questions (which you do daily) you’re problem solving and considering the needs of multiple stakeholders, no mean feat Ladies!

    Your problem solving skills and ability to consider many options, the needs of the key stakeholders and assess your resources at hand are the lynch pins for successful problem solving at home or in the workplace or how to combine the two.

     

    I realise that these are “soft skills” and some of you may be in roles that require a lot of training to perform but consider how the skills you’ve gained from being a Mum can enhance your abilities to adapt back into the role you used to have or a new one you’re taking on.

     

    I hope looking at this table has helped you regain some faith that being a Mum has not deskilled you for a return to the workforce, if anything it’s been enhanced.

     

    Take a look at my FREE VIDEO SERIES FOR MUMS, called “From Mum to Me again” where I look at other elements of a Mums world that can be enhanced through some simple mind set changes.

     

    Have a think about what skills you’ve gained from becoming a Mum! I know my patience has definitely increased!!!!!

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    Jun
    05

    Why do Mums always get left making the Pompom?

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    Always in pursuit of being a "good Mum" who creates interesting activities for her kids, doesn't sit them in front of the TV for the whole day and tries to provide them with new and stimulating activities….you know how it is! I decided to introduce a new arts and crafts activity to our household this week. POMPOM making! I bought a cheap bale of wool in blue and white, sat down and cut out the 2 cardboard rings required and showed Mr. 4 y.o. how to thread the wool around the cardboard and how exciting it would be when it was finished! He was excited and then after about 6 turns at threading the wool, he declared, "This is soooo boring Mum" and ran off to smash cars into the walls!!!

    There I was, reading the Sunday paper and contentedly threading the wool around and around as I attempted to finish yet another project destined to be left incomplete! NOT THIS TIME! I found it very cathartic and fulfilling winding the wool through the hole over and over again whilst catching up on the news of the world (of which there was none). I find the same comfort in chopping veges, it must be the repetitive nature of the activity that brings a serenity to me!

    I've now completed the pompom and Mr. 4 y.o. is quite impressed, I did suggest we could make a few and pretend they were planets to make into a mobile but I can see where that project is heading and it won't involve him!!

    Another highlight of this activity is that I've realised we could take it on our long plane journey soon, imagine pompom making on a plane? It's not like we have anything else to do for 24 hrs!!! So maybe I'll plan ahead and come up with some repetitive pompom making activity whilst confined to a tin can flying across the world. Watch out for a spate of pompom photos taken as I complete one over every country we travel…yeh right, like Mr. 1y.o. will allow that to happen! I think even I'd get bored or RSI by then!

    Anyway, I feel the activity was worthwhile, even if it's made me realise that in the heights of madness that can be a Mother's world I have identified a way to chill myself out by doing simple, repetitive,mindless tasks! My Husband may recommend I take up ironing, no thanks!

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    May
    24

    Super powers for Mums! What’s your power?

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    Here's a fun little topic to think about and discuss with your friends at lunchtime or on facebook.

    What super power would you have as a Mum and a person?

    Crash, bang, whinge, cry, smash, whinge, whinge, whine! Do those words sound familiar? If I could have a super power as a Mums I'd chose chose the ability to turn my hearing on and off! How cool would that be when the children are screeching for no particular reason and you’re desperately trying to make them happy and cook their food at the same time. If you could flick a switch near your ear and turn the sound off you’d achieve so much without the stress that the noise induces.

    I actually think I have this ability sometimes but then the crash, bang, whinge, cry noises start getting louder and louder the more my super power works…go figure???

    As I'm a person, Debbie , as well as a Mum I'd like to be able to FLY…I want to be able to jump up from my spot and just soar in the air. I’m not talking about fast, superman type flying. I’m talking about floating, soaring, gliding through the air, slowly taking in the ground below and appreciating the peace and serenity that I imagine flying through the clouds brings! Having said all that, I have been hang-gliding once and I can’t say I enjoyed the reality as much as the fantasy! It was when I was footloose and fancy-free and perhaps my hangover didn’t enhance the experience!!!

     

    Having super powers is a fantasy of course but making day-to-day Mum and work FUN is not a fantasy. It’s something I try to work at daily, especially when there is too much screaming, not enough time and too many things to do. Turn the radio up, put on your fav tunes and do a bit of dancing as you make dinner. Talk to a friend who makes you laugh. Find something that provides you with more energy and makes you smile so you can get through the busy days that life presents you with.

    Tell me what your Mum super power would be on the facebook page,

    http://www.facebook.com/theedgecoaching, I bet you’ll have some great ones to make us all laugh and say yes, I want that one tooooo! Bring on Super Mums with super powers!

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